How to Not Be Crazy Without Being Normal

"Maybe We're Crazy" by Kezzi-Rose

This is, probably, the weirdest post title you have ever read. But it sums up the largest issue in my life at the moment: I'm the crazy girlfriend. I mean crazy. I don't like it, I hate being like this. But here's my catch 22 - normal people are boring as fuck.

I need to find a balance. I need to be eccentric, without being nuts. Original without being weird. Normal without being boring. Special without being "special".

But you know what? When you go down the mental rabbit hole and you hit the bottom, no one tells you how to get out. Sure, there's medications. "Coping" skills. But in all honesty... no way to return to a healthy mental state without drugging up. No way to once and for all leave the suicidal hole you've dug.

I mean really? C'mon. I knew there had to be more to it.

So, through much trial and error, I've identified some ways to make myself less crazy without being a dull, flat person. The trick to finding these was reverse-engineering. I identified how I got in this mess, step by step, and then figured out how to back my way out so to speak.

These awesome, all-natural, effective methods?

• Better habits
• Objective opinions - asking the opinion and advice of people who I thought would give an educated, unbiased opinion.
• Experimentation - try everything, and drop what doesn't work. What works? Cling to for dear life.
• A Healthy body
• Brainwashing - you have to change how you think. Think positive, efficient, and rational. All crazy thinking habits need to be exterminated.
• Effective problem-solving - identify the problem, brainstorm solutions, then fix it. If the problem is out of your control, learn to let go.
• Constant self-evaluation - come back, about once a week, and look at your progress. Celebrate your growth, your triumphs. Identify your mistakes, and where you need to work on for next week.
• Hard work

Yeah... probably the weirdest list on eliminating the crazy, but true.

What do you think?

6-Step Meditation

Photo Credit Voland Ratibor

Meditation is awesome. It can be long and luxurious, or short and incredibly helpful like a power-nap. It helps stress, depression, anxiety, and improves health and cognitive function (AKA brain power).

But meditation is really, really hard when you have no idea where to start. So, after a ton of research, Q&A, and the desire for a simple meditation walk-through for beginners I devised this 6-step meditation process.

I'm attempting to start a meditation habit, if you haven't noticed yet. I hope you'll join me.

1. Turn on some relaxing music. I use a thunderstorm CD, but this is different for every person. If music isn't your thing, find somewhere quiet.
2. Stretch. This will help relax your muscles. Focus completely on your stretching.
3. Relax and get comfortable. Lay down with your feet up for maximum relaxation, but if that isn't possible just get as comfortable as you can and then try and relax.
4. Close your eyes. Blocking out the visual stimulation will allow you to focus better on relaxing.
5. Take some deep breaths. This will help you calm down your heart, and boost your mood and improve your focus on the meditation. It also helps your muscles relax.
6. Clear your mind. This can be done two ways: focusing on one thing, like a mantra ('I am beautiful' is a good one), or by clearing out thoughts and letting your thoughts leave when they come (this is hard for some people, like me).

Next, just continue with the sixth step until you're done, out of time, or relaxed. Come out of the meditation slowly. Give yourself at least 5 minutes to come back to the world.

Then continue with your day, refreshed and reinvigorated.

Defining Your Values

Over at Reading For Your Success I came across a fantastic tool for self-discovery. It's what helped me craft my mission statement and my values. My mission statement helps me define where I am going. And my values help me define where I am right now.

Oftentimes when you think values you think complex, vague concepts like "honour" or "truth". I'm talking about concrete, clear values that offer a day to day, moment to moment guide in every single moment and aspect of my life. And values also include the things you want to avoid, keep out of your life. For example, I don't smoke. That's one of the values I've had since I was little. And it's not changing, not any time soon, because that value is part of what defines who I am as a human being, and how I fit into this world. The only way that value would change is if I have changed.

So if you're struggling to understand who you are, or you knew who you were but may have changed, here's an exercise I adopted from Reading For Your Success with my own tweaks and comments. Feel free to use, share, enjoy, or light on fire.

1. Make some lists. If you know me, you know I'm a list addict. They're useful. They are a scientific tool for gathering and processing information. So we're going to start with some lists. Make a short list that answers each of these questions:
-What are traits of people you admire?
-What are traits you look for in a partner/lover/spouse?
-What traits do you avoid in a partner/lover/spouse?
-What are traits of people that bother/disturb/annoy/anger you?
-What are the most important parts of your life/being?
-What kind of a person do you want to be?

Now take from those lists anything that repeats itself, or anything that stands out. Cross off anything superfluous (like "rock-hard abs") and condense into one new, short list.

2. Analyze the data. Look at your shiny new list. Think about it. Spend some time on this step, doing some deep thinking. Your values define who you are as a person to yourself, and to the people around you. Take this seriously. Is this who you want to be? If it isn't, go back to step one, and make a new list that reflects this better. You might have to do some soul-searching or library adventures.

If this is a good list, continue to the next step.

3. Define your terms. Define what each of the items on your list means clearly, leaving no room for doubt. Don't use ambiguous terms. Use powerful, meaningful vocabulary. If you need to, brainstorm.

For example, one of my values is freedom. The definition of this value is: maintaining my ability to choose for myself in all things, at all times.

Don't define your values the way other people would. These definitions are what you believe, what you feel, what you desire. Don't let anyone else define your values for you, ever, or they are no longer yours.

4. Don't plan. This step is not planning. I'm trying to knock the habit of planning. But it is brief guidelines that will help you stick to your values. These "guidelines" can be habits you want to form, or they can be rules you follow, or exercises you can do to practice your values.

For example, some "guidelines" for my freedom value are:
-Take my education into my own hands
-Consciously exercise my ability to choose
-Be aware when my freedom is being reduced or removed, and fix it
-Use my freedom to further myself and expand my freedom, not restrict or drag down

5. Follow through. Print your list, definitions, and guidelines up and hang them on your wall. Or post them on your blog. Or otherwise give yourself daily access to them. Come back to this list often, come to it when you need to make a decision and think 'what choice best reflects my values?'. If you go through a large life change or experience, reevaluate your list. Every six months or whenever, reevaluate, rewrite. You will change, and as you do, your values might too. Or they might stay the same.

Either way, the four previous steps are useless if you don't follow through, if you don't live according to these values. Though if you decide you don't like it, stop. While it's important to stick to your values, your values should be important to you.

My Values:
- Honesty. Absolute truth in all things. No omissions, deceptions, lies or anything other than the complete and total truth.
- Respect. Respect for all people, myself, animals, objects and the planet.
- Family (I consider friends family, too). Caring for and protecting, no matter what the cost, to the best of my ability, anyone who has been welcomed into my herd.
- Freedom. Maintaining my ability to choose for myself in all things, at all times.
- Wisdom. Knowing and Understanding God's word. Listening to others. Maintaining an open mind.
- Passion. Following what I love, devoting every fiber of my being too it, despite any risks or fears.
- Joy. Be happy, always, and find the beauty in even the ugliest of situations. Glorify in the gifts of God instead of mourning the things I've lost or desiring the things I do not have. Being happy in the moment.
- Unique-ness. Standing out from the crowd and expressing who I am and how I feel in everything that I do, wear, say, and any other opportunity to express it.

What are your values?

For some further reading, check out:
http://www.readingforyoursuccess.com/the-beginners-guide-to-being-congruent
http://exilelifestyle.com/6-life-focuses/
http://zenhabits.net/new-habit/